A scare!

That was so weird.

There was an email from Blogorama saying they indexed my recent post ""Morning Joe" cuts off painful interview with Florida Governor for avoiding questions about Trump and Muslims" - wha?

So I check this blog, and mis-type the address. It doesn't load, and the anti-virus program is flagging the site, and I am in So. Much. Anguish thinking I've lost my blog to hijackers..

Then I notice the typo!

PHEW it still exists (not used since August last year? Oooops!!!)

Deep breath.

I head over to Blogorama and find out the blogs they have associated with that email were the today dot com ones that don't exist anymore, and haven't existed for many years. So told them to delete me/them from their directory.

All should be fine now.

.... but sheesh. That scared me.

Once upon a time I juggled another personality -- or rather, I allowed a part of me out more. The "writer/alter ego" part of me. The one who published deeply personal look-backs on my past (well before I ever started therapy and found out I needed to work through many suppressed emotions, memories of my childhood). The one who was as creative as could be, and had fun with a Tooth Fairy peeing on kids' mouths (seriously) in order to make their teeth rot. The one who had a great book idea, but realised she was actually rewriting her childhood and whatever did get written was never going to be published. Peeks into peeks into my creativity when those juices were flowing pretty well and I dared entertain the idea of being a writer. A while back, in order to consolidate/reduce number of things in general, whatever I posted as that persona, I unpublished, saved as draft to THIS blog, and deleted her home.

So if I had lost THIS blog, I would have lost HER work.
My work.
Her work.
I've not thought about her in a long time.

Hi Willow.

Frozen, Inc

We are totally late to the fandom. On purpose. Only introduced the kids (3 & 4 yo now) to Frozen maybe 6 weeks ago.

Of course, they are now Anna and Elsa.

Last weekend, they got a fantastic treat -- they acually got to MEET Anna and Elsa :)

Then we introduced them to Monsters, Inc because, well, let's not keep watching Frozen, right??

So now they are *also* Kitty and Boo. Today Nova built a "door" (more like doorWAY), for Kitty and Boo to go through.

Gotta love their imaginations!

Bedtime

How the ideal evening has to go, for all our sanity's sake:

By 4.30: pick up Nev

By 5: home, potty

5.30/6pm : dinner

7pm: potty, jammies

7.30: storytime

7.50: last call (water, potty)/ last book

8pm: close the door 

Hard-learned schedule, that one. Leave a LOT of buffer. But try to have a good half hour of stories.

Unfortunately, ANYthing that threatens the above -- like beautiful weather that invites us to hit the park before dinner, therefore throwing it all off by an hour or so -- will make me all twitchy, even with the post-dinner buffer.

Yesterday I was prepared, so "pre-dinner" cheese, veggie pouch were part of the "get back to the car" enticement at the playground. Home at 6. Still closed the door on them at 8-ish.

Today, we have some family fun activities as Nova's school, smack in the middle of the dinner routine. Thinking to do something similar to yesterday.

May have to save my daily caffeination for the afternoon, rather than morning....!!!

Coulda been

Four years ago today, it could have been Nova's birthday. 

I was 31 weeks pregnant, only just starting to think about what we were going to need for his (its, at that point -- I'd been refusing to know) arrival, and the powers that be decided to make things ...exciting...

Thankfully he stayed put, until invited out 3 weeks later. 

Glad he wasn't this big then ;)

TUOEMITimeout

Really having a tough time with time outs.

Totally subscribe to its use as a "behavior interrupter" as opposed to punishment. But often times, the behavior being interrupted has a huge emotional charge too. And when "that's three: go to (your room / the [thinking chair] / etc)" gets met with "No!", there's a whole 'nother battle fought to just get the kid to where he/she is to go, and by that time the No Talking (when you're angry) and No Emotion rules for parents are totally out the window and it takes a lot not to let things spiral out of control.

Here's Nev "in her room" just a few minutes ago, doing a great job pushing boundaries, and Mommy's buttons.

There are many more aspects and nuances to these situations, of course. Just want to get this morning's incidentS out here so they are not hamster wheel fodder.

Is it Monday yet?

... of weight and salt ...

I've been eyeing the Y's Lose Big program; session two starts next week.

I joined both sessions last year. Shared progress on FB. Lost some weight, but very quickly realised that there was no way I could maintain that lifestyle -- it was taking away from even grocery shopping, and adding to the stress of kid juggling etc. 

I really started yelling/screaming at the kids all the time at this time, as I recall.

A year later.  I'm at a much better place mentally. Still struggling, though.

On one hand the exercise will help uplift me overall, no doubt about that, hello endorphins. But on the other hand, I can see the stress of just making the minimum workouts, and jumping through the figurative hoops, is not going to do me any good.

So no, Lose Big.

Instead I'll once again work on some small changes. 

Like Coke Zero. 

Haven't had any in ?months? Sometimes I miss it so much. But all we have now is Diet Coke which I won't touch (my plan was no soda at all, but hubby couldn't handle it, lol!). 

Not sure if it's related, but I'm starting to notice salty food. Took a bite of the cheese I feed the kids all the time and am aghast at how salty it tastes. Nova's fave food ever (couscous w spinach in lemon butter sauce -- you'll find it in the frozen veg section, he'll eat the entire bag in one sitting) -- I sampled that yesterday and found it way too salty too. 

Anyways.

Hello, stream of consciousness typing.

Alarm!

I stopped wearing a watch over a decade ago ... and yet now my life is littered with alarms on my phone.  Here's what my day typically looks like, as told by my alarms:

I only recently figured out how to use the snooze function to my advantage: hit snooze, and use that extra 9 mins to get Nova actually ready to go, for example. 

At 3.30 it's time to hit the potty (or, start another potty battle) before leaving to get Nev. I like to have left the apartment by 4. See the buffer? We need it. Boy do we need it.

Always always always lots and lots and lots of buffer. On one hand it could be a bit stressful having it go off every 9 minutes. But. On the other hand, if you've got the timing down well, it's actually a good way to let go the responsibility of watching the clock...

I've managed to squeeze in many 9mins of focused play with him between the first & second "ready for bus?" alarms. And that is very much needed.

I just hope I don't keep adding alarms such that I have two or three screenshots to share in another post!

(For bedtime, mealtimes, I usually use an egg timer)