Audio: ticked off at telemarketers!

(As I wrote this, I felt the need to SAY what I was writing... it took me the whole frigging day to figure out how to record *and* how to upload it onto the blog. Ugh! But I managed! Yay! So to listen to this post, click here! (Then click play on the Yahoo!MediaPlayer console) Enjoy!

When we moved to Springfield over 2 years ago, we very quickly found out that the phone number the phone company gave us had previously been 'owned' by one "Morten Harket" (not his real name, obviously) (anyone actually know who this is? -- No Googling!!).

Reverse Look Up told me that Mr Harket was a rather old person who lived in downtown Springfield, while all the telemarketing calls we received for him indicated he suffered from poor health. I speculated that he had passed away recently, and that the phone company had immediately recycled his number instead of letting it 'cool' for a bit.

At first it was just annoying, getting all these calls for Morten. I would politely say that we just got assigned the number; no, I have no idea how to contact him; please remove his name and number from your database. Most callers obliged.

One set of callers, however...

These were the diabetes-related calls.

And they kept calling.

The calls would come from 'blocked' numbers. The person on the other end was invariably Indian (which by itself wasn't an issue, don't get me wrong) who often seemed to be calling from his local coffee shop or something. Often he'd be having a conversation with someone else while making the call, and would start the conversation with me all laugh-y and unprofessional-like. And as soon as I said that "this number is no longer associated with that person, so please update your database accordingly," he'd go, "Oh. Are *you* diabetic, ma'am?" "Anyone in your family?" and really insist on just digging for information. Umm yeah, like I'm going to allow that. So *I* would dig in and say "Please just remove this name and number from your database." They in turn would insist on knowing my name, as if they couldn't move forward without that bit of information.

I refuse, they insist, and round and round we'd go.

Exasperated, I've asked to speak to their supervisor before, only to be told that they don't have a supervisor. And they won't give me their name or any information about their operation unless I tell them my name first. How fucking childish is that?

anyway...

I have NO IDEA what they are selling, I never let them get to their spiel. Excuse me for insisting that "this is not the diabetic you are looking for; move along, move along."

The second-to-last call received from this ilk was a few months back, and it was a bad one. After going through the whole rigmarole of 'please remove Morten Harket's name and number from your database' the guy kept insisting on wanting to know my name, and I refused to furnish it; he kept insisting, I kept refusing, always repeating "please just remove this name and phone number from your records", then he turned nasty andsarcastic asking "So, you don't have a name, is it?", or "Your name is "Doesn't matter", is it?". I actually used the f-word on him and hung up.

Come to think of it, it's been a while since I've had to field such calls.

Until yesterday.

And this call, my friends, has upped my anger levels to greater heights, because ... wait for it... they asked for "Kosh Naranek, who according to our records, is diabetic."

What. The. Fuck.

[I immediately figured that they finally got Morten Harket's name off the list, but left the phone number... and some genius did a reverse look-up of the number, got Kosh's name, and just put his name where Morten Harket's was]

I was pissed.

Big big.

I was very curt about "Your records are wrong. He is not diabetic, I am not diabetic. No one in our family is diabetic."

One small funny thing during this recent conversation? The guy's weird Brit/American accent slowly degenerated into an Indian accent.

The guy kept asking 'Are you sure no one is diabetic?"

And hey, whaddaya know, the guy kept asking for my name.

After receiving nothing but "No"s from me, he had the gall to ask "Where is Kosh?" when I'd already said at the beginning of the call that he was not available.

Then he asked for my name again, saying "I already have Kosh Naranek's name, may I have your name too?".

"Dude. You already have more information than you should ever have. You are also wasting my time and have invaded my privacy enough. You have no need for my name, and I am not giving it to you. For the tenth time, please just remove this name and number from your database."

I am only calling you for the first time, ma'am. (D'oh! Hyperbole was LOST on this one!)
Can I please have your name?
What's your name, ma'am?
Come on, what's your name?

"I am not giving you my name. Please remove my husband's name and phone number from your database. I'm hanging up now."

Then came this gem: I would luuuurve to know your name.

"Wha? Dude, you have got to behave-- you know what, it doesn't matter. I'm hanging up now, goodbye."

Bloody hell.

They all have this pseudo-flirty slimy attitude, but this one really rubbed me the wrong way... probably because I was so pissed at them now having Kosh's name in their system.

I think we are just gonna have to put our number on the Do Not Call list *and* screen all our calls, because I do NOT want to have to deal with these %$(*-ers again.

I just wish I knew where to lodge a complaint, not that I have any information about them apart from what I've just shared with y'all...

Of course, I could use the honey instead of vinegar route the next time, and get them to speak their spiel, and maybe get a name & phone number to call back because after all, my husband is the person they really wanna talk to ... and THEN I'd have somewhere to start ... ... although I don't know what I'd do next without a Garcia or a McGee around to dig for me, eh?

Yeah.

I really really hate these guys.

What about you?
Have you gotten similar calls?
Wanna tell me how you dealt with them?

The Nova Story: Chapter One: finding out

Back in October 2010 [HOLY CRAP THAT WAS A YEAR AGO ALREADY??!!], I thought I'd pulled a groin muscle or something, I was having these cramp-like twinges in the lower abdominal region. I also found myself cupping my boobs a lot, much to Kosh's amusement. Then said boobs started getting really sore.

It then occurred to me that it had been a while since my last period ... checked my calendar, counted forward, and whaddaya know, I was overdue for some bleedage.

The timing of this epiphany could have been better: Kosh was particularly stressed because he'd had a very long day and was having to pull an all-nighter for a presentation the next morning. I didn't want to add to/detract from his goings-on right then. So I kept my suspicion silent. After sending him to work in the early morning, I stopped by the local grocery store for some pregnancy tests.

Came home, peed in a cup and did the necessary.

And this is what greeted me.



If I'd had a proper smart phone, I'd have sent Kosh this pic. Instead, all I could do was send the following text message: "Ummmmm... guess what?"

He guessed right away :)

[Hmmmm, maybe we should have him guest post to say how he knew?]