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It's been a while...

It's been so long.

Here's what's been going on. I had one kid, then another. Thing One / Nova was my first ever exposure to a kid. I'd never changed a diaper until he came along, and even then I deferred to the hubs or the NICU nurses before I forced myself to overcome that ?fear?.

He is my first. So I always wondered during tough times, was it just me? Or was it also him?

Turns out, it was us both.

He starts First Grade this August. He's currently being (re-)evaluated for an IEP (Individualised Education Plan). ADHD. ODD. ASD. SPD. The journey to these labels was a long one. And still ongoing because I don't think we have it quite right yet. But the labels help. I fought against getting labels. But now I seek them. Anything to help understand. Never in a million years would I have foreseen me medicating my kids. Yet here I am, seeking new meds, getting him a genetic test that should help identify which medications should help him, since the usual suspects see…
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A scare!

That was so weird.

There was an email from Blogorama saying they indexed my recent post ""Morning Joe" cuts off painful interview with Florida Governor for avoiding questions about Trump and Muslims" - wha?

So I check this blog, and mis-type the address. It doesn't load, and the anti-virus program is flagging the site, and I am in So. Much. Anguish thinking I've lost my blog to hijackers..

Then I notice the typo!

PHEW it still exists (not used since August last year? Oooops!!!)

Deep breath.

I head over to Blogorama and find out the blogs they have associated with that email were the today dot com ones that don't exist anymore, and haven't existed for many years. So told them to delete me/them from their directory.

All should be fine now.

.... but sheesh. That scared me.

Once upon a time I juggled another personality -- or rather, I allowed a part of me out more. The "writer/alter ego" part of me. The one who published deeply personal look…

Frozen, Inc

We are totally late to the fandom. On purpose. Only introduced the kids (3 & 4 yo now) to Frozen maybe 6 weeks ago.
Of course, they are now Anna and Elsa. Last weekend, they got a fantastic treat -- they acually got to MEET Anna and Elsa :)
Then we introduced them to Monsters, Inc because, well, let's not keep watching Frozen, right??
So now they are *also* Kitty and Boo. Today Nova built a "door" (more like doorWAY), for Kitty and Boo to go through.
Gotta love their imaginations!


How the ideal evening has to go, for all our sanity's sake:
By 4.30: pick up NevBy 5: home, potty5.30/6pm : dinner7pm: potty, jammies7.30: storytime7.50: last call (water, potty)/ last book8pm: close the door 
Hard-learned schedule, that one. Leave a LOT of buffer. But try to have a good half hour of stories.
Unfortunately, ANYthing that threatens the above -- like beautiful weather that invites us to hit the park before dinner, therefore throwing it all off by an hour or so -- will make me all twitchy, even with the post-dinner buffer.
Yesterday I was prepared, so "pre-dinner" cheese, veggie pouch were part of the "get back to the car" enticement at the playground. Home at 6. Still closed the door on them at 8-ish.
Today, we have some family fun activities as Nova's school, smack in the middle of the dinner routine. Thinking to do something similar to yesterday.
May have to save my daily caffeination for the afternoon, rather than morning....!!!

Coulda been

Four years ago today, it could have been Nova's birthday. 
I was 31 weeks pregnant, only just starting to think about what we were going to need for his (its, at that point -- I'd been refusing to know) arrival, and the powers that be decided to make things ...exciting...
Thankfully he stayed put, until invited out 3 weeks later. 

Glad he wasn't this big then ;)


Really having a tough time with time outs.
Totally subscribe to its use as a "behavior interrupter" as opposed to punishment. But often times, the behavior being interrupted has a huge emotional charge too. And when "that's three: go to (your room / the [thinking chair] / etc)" gets met with "No!", there's a whole 'nother battle fought to just get the kid to where he/she is to go, and by that time the No Talking (when you're angry) and No Emotion rules for parents are totally out the window and it takes a lot not to let things spiral out of control.

Here's Nev "in her room" just a few minutes ago, doing a great job pushing boundaries, and Mommy's buttons.
There are many more aspects and nuances to these situations, of course. Just want to get this morning's incidentS out here so they are not hamster wheel fodder.
Is it Monday yet?

... of weight and salt ...

I've been eyeing the Y's Lose Big program; session two starts next week.
I joined both sessions last year. Shared progress on FB. Lost some weight, but very quickly realised that there was no way I could maintain that lifestyle -- it was taking away from even grocery shopping, and adding to the stress of kid juggling etc. 
I really started yelling/screaming at the kids all the time at this time, as I recall.
A year later.  I'm at a much better place mentally. Still struggling, though.
On one hand the exercise will help uplift me overall, no doubt about that, hello endorphins. But on the other hand, I can see the stress of just making the minimum workouts, and jumping through the figurative hoops, is not going to do me any good.
So no, Lose Big.
Instead I'll once again work on some small changes. 
Like Coke Zero. 
Haven't had any in ?months? Sometimes I miss it so much. But all we have now is Diet Coke which I won't touch (my plan was no soda at all, but hubby couldn…