In some ways we are different...

The rational mind knows, in theory, that every kid is different. Yet I can't help but use Nova as an assumption/template for Nev. And of course I get reminded often how that set of assumptions/expectations do nothing except give me a sense of structure that really doesn't apply.

That's a lot of words to set up this post, haha.

With Nova, I was on the lookout for self-undressing, and poopy Picasso-ing. He never showed any inclination for this. I still kept him in onesies as long as I could. It's only now, at a little over 3 years old, he's started to Al Bundy himself.

Now, Nev ... she's been thrusting hands down her pants for a while already. There was once she did a sleep poopy Picasso -- I thought that was snot on her hand and nose when I got her that morning *shudder*. She also has taken her pants off so often already (Nova has yet to do that). 

So today she not only took off her pants, but did a valiant job putting them back on.

I <3 these kids :)

Insomnia sucks

I think we went to bed at a reasonable (to us) time ...

1.45am: jolted wide awake by Nova crying something about "Get me out" ... Kosh went to investigate ... and found Nova ~under~ his bed??!! Of course Nev woke up with all this... Kosh calmed them down, left the room ... 

Then Nev starts wailing about losing her binky (oh how I hate that thing) ... 

I intervene ... I stay a while ... I leave ...

She wails ... and wails ... and wails ... finally quietens down

.... and sleep totally eludes me the rest of the night.

I'm going to be Red Light Mommy all bloody day, looks like.

Poor kids.

It's the 4th of May

... and the kids have a message for you:

Peace out!

Working out

Yesterday Nova and I spent about 4 hours at the Y, for two 30min sessions. 

This hugely inefficient use of time was mainly due to having to sit in the lobby and feed him breakfast (before child watch opened, so *i* could work out), and lunch (after his swim, so he could pass out in the car w/o my having to wake him for food when we got home).

The nap didn't last as long as I would have hoped. Gotta fine tune my strategy, for both our sakes!

Another year passes by ...

... and *sneeze!* here I am brushing *cough cough* the dust *aaaacchhhooooo!* off of this blog *blows nose* ... it won't be pretty, bc I'll be posting short updates from my *aaaaaaaaahhhhhh* phone, *ccchhhhoooooooooo!* it's the only way I communicate with anyone nowadays.

.... and I *need* to write more than you need it to be pretty, methinks.

Welcome, 2014!

Bathtime Fun!

"Poooop?" he declared.

I groaned, hand on the shampoo bottle. We were more than halfway done with his bath, and I had *just* gotten him to finally sit/squat in the Tummy Tub so I could safely do his hair, which was the reason he was getting an impromptu post-dinner pre-bedtime bath in the first place.

"Argh. Please tell me you're not going to poop."

"No poop!" he exclaimed, gleefully.
But what about those rather worrying grunts??

"You sure?"

"No poop!" he repeated.

Then up pops a turd (or four) in the tub. (There were non-floaters too. Ugh.)

Sigh.


Silver lining: he *did* tell me before it happened. I guess potty training can start anytime.

Hand Foot Mouth?

... more like Arm Leg Mouth for Nev
... ... and Mons Butt between-Toes for Nova

yup, that's right, the stupid coxsackie virus has struck this household again.

Mommy hasn't had a day off to herself for 12 days and counting since one got hit, then the other, and while the pediatrician's stand is they aren't contagious once the fever is gone for 24 hours, daycare insists they do not return until all blisters are at least scabbed over. So once Nev was daycarable, Nova wasn't.

Wheee!

(attached pic: Nev looking so miserable last week)

Open mouth, insert foot. And hand, apparently.

So last Thursday, Nova was his usual chipper self, trying at times but in general, you know, chipper. Like this:

"Mommy! I LOVE this! More onion bagel please!! Why have you NEVER fed me this before??!?"

... then came Friday, which happened to be one of his daycare days, and it's always a challenge to get him fed and into bed without a meltdown, because he's just SO TIRED after a day at daycare. This kid's ideal bedtime is 6pm!

But wow... he was particularly angsty that day:

"How dare you give me something that's not yogurt! Now I don't even WANT yogurt!"

Really really angsty.

Refusing pretty much all food. Except yogurt (which I'd coincidentally/intuitively stocked up on a few days prior. Love it when the Universe does that!!).

And over the weekend he drooled and drooled and drooled, and whined and whined and whined, and ran a slightly elevated temperature, and chomped on his hands & fingers a lot ...

Oh. Teething, huh?

Then some blisters appeared at the corners of his mouth.

FML. It was HFMD.

So that was how we spent our Labor Day weekend: taking care of a kid who was really badly-hit by Hand Foot & Mouth Disease, without knowing it was HFMD until maybe 3 days into its emergence. Nova's timing was perfect, as painful as it all was, better "waste" the long weekend than have to juggle sick kid *and* work! Poor Kosh though, he got no rest at all. None of us did.

Oh, and "waterboarding" your kid in order to get liquids in him? so NOT what I'd ever thought I'd have to do, ever! [Okay, not really waterboarding, but it certainly felt like we were torturing him with water/pedialyte. Nova was refusing food and drink, and we had to keep him hydrated, so finally we held him down and squirted Pedialyte into his mouth with a 10cc oral syringe. Took many rounds to get even 4oz in him. Ugh! We need a larger syringe!!]

Let's just hope Nev didn't get hit with it too. The pediatrician's office said kids that young rarely get it because their immune systems are usually really robust. Let it be so, Nev, let it be so ...

Nova's on the mend, but daycare won't take him in until his blisters start to dry up. Damnit! I *so* need a break!!

Especially when I have to subvert the ring sling being lent to me to strap him to the high chair, otherwise I wouldn't be able to feed him mush or yogurt, nor would I be able to waterboard him solo.

Ugh.

15 months!

Hey so remember a while back, when I took a few pix of Nova in his monkey swing?



This is him now:

I think he's grown a bit, eh? ;)

Happy 15 months, boyo!

PROM, the second time around ...

So some of my dear readers may recall that about thirteen months ago, I woke up at 2:45 in the morning to go to the bathroom, only to find myself lying in a pool of liquid. I woke up the hubby, who told me it probably wasn't what I thought it was, and to go pee lah. As I walked down the hallway to the bathroom, liquid totally dribbled down my legs ... called out to hubby about it, who responded by saying I needed to pee, right? So go pee. Just ... don't "push", ok?

And that was how my first P.R.O.M. started. Premature Rupture of the Membrane, more commonly understood as "my water broke!".

But wait, you say. Your FIRST P.R.O.M.?

Yup.

Guess who's here, 5 weeks early?


For Nev, it was different, yet similar. This time, it was 2am, and I felt three good gushes into the pad I was wearing (ah, the joys of a weak pelvic floor as a result of having already pushed a kid out of my nethers!) as I walked down that same hallway. Smelled the pad: did not smell of amniotic fluid to me, but it was saturated. Changed it, went back to bed and woke the hubby with the news that we might be having a repeat event. This time it was me who downplayed it, because I really really really didn't want to face this all over again. We had a toddler to deal with now, for goodness' sake! I'd only officially asked one person if she'd be on our 3am baby call list for when Nev was to arrive, and I had only planned tapping her in July. This was early/mid June. Very big difference!! The hubs and I kinda talked through what we thought about all of this for a while. Then I had a bout of coughing that send a huge gush of stuff out of me. That settled it - no more putting it off. I wasn't feeling any contractions, but I definitely had a PROM again. Time to get moving. We decided to not call anyone, and for Kosh to take the day off from work.

So at 2:45 am, I took a shower.

Then tidied myself up a little.

Added to my "to go bag" (hey, I learned something from last year!)

Packed Nova's diaper bag.

Kosh packed his own bag o' stuff, then woke the kid, changed his diaper, and got him ready for some hospital time.

... ... ... NEXT: the initial hospital experience, the second time around ... stay tuned!

A day in the life ...

This past weekend, Nova had a busy busy Saturday. First, he was graduated into the big boy stroller (i.e. NOT in the bucket seat in the stroller).

Then he cheered on guys in heels...

Then he was totally knackered, and rested a while.

Daddy and Mommy then drove him around in the big boy car seat (technically this pic is from the following Monday, but, well, I wanted the story straight, LoL!)

... then we arrived at Scheels, where he said hi to some fishies...

... and to Meijer, where he totally lounged in the cart (because he kept slipping, LoL!)

... and gave his approval to the purchase of a ball for his amusement (there's a vid of him and the ball up on FB, if you're friends with me and you missed it)

We then had dinner at our fave restaurant: he didn't get any Thai food, though. A *bit* too soon for that, LMAO! Daddy played scritchy scratchy through the stroller cover fabric with him. He liked it. Can you tell?

I have more cute pix of him, but these capture a LOT of those moments already :) p/s: I do NOT like the new blogger interface!!! Waaaahhhh!!!! :((

Nova: Solidifying his intake

Way back in November, we had started Nova on solid food. Click on that link to see him experiencing rice cereal for the first time.

We then moved him on to oatmeal, then barley.

He might have some sensitivity to either one, or both of 'em.

So those were taken out of rotation, and now he's slowly making his way through pureed veggies, and later fruit.



I totally intend to make my own baby food. I just don't have the energy to get it done. Yet. So in the meantime, storebought it will be!

Here are the veggies he's gone through:

• peas
• carrots
• green beans

and here's the plan for the next few veggies & fruits:

• sweet potatoes
• spinach (as part of a mixed veg including already-vetted carrots & peas)
• squash
• corn (as part of a corn & sweet potatoes combo)
• advocado* (will be of the freshly-mashed kind)
• prunes (will this give him the runes?)
• bananas* (will be of the freshly-mashed kind)
• apples
• pears

After that we'll move on to include meats & legumes.

Each type gets fed in the morning for four days in a row (unless a reaction is seen/detected earlier) followed by a day or two of rest (this slot is then filled with rice cereal).

He also gets rice cereal in the afternoon daily.

I had been taking it easy about feeding him solids, maybe once a day, skipping it if it was inconvenient, if we were gonna be out and about, etc. But at his 9-month check-up, it turns out he's not been gaining the weight he should be, so we're upping his solids (and therefore caloric) intake in addition to trying to maintain his liquid intake.

From the way Nova is snarfing down his food (I swear I've got to shovel the cereal and/or veggies at full speed into his mouth otherwise he starts chewing his bib) I guess he's liking and wanting this change.

We've got a follow-up weight-check appointment in 6 weeks' time. I think we should be on the right track.

The Nova Story: Chapter Three: The Cliff's Notes

Previous "chapters": One & Two

So, how did the pregnancy go?

The pregnancy was trouble-free for most of the first two trimesters. No morning sickness, no sensitivity to odors, no discernible fatigue (I didn't work, but had class from 6pm - 10pm, so I could sleep in, I'm sure that helped!), you name most pregnancy complaints, I did NOT have them.

However, my hands did start to swell and ache starting in the second trimester. However, that coincided with the start of our weekly Massage Clinics, where on a full session we'd have three back-to-back hour-long massages once a week, in addition to the hands-on stuff we'd do during regular class at least two other nights a week. How much was pregnancy-related, massage-related, or one feeding off the other? Who knows.
Sleep was a precious commodity: with Nova pressing on my bladder, I had to pee every two hours or so. Yes, through the night too. And I couldn't get comfortable anymore in bed, so was hardly sleeping. That was not fun, ugh.

I was also being monitored for Gestational Diabetes since diabetes runs strongly in one parent's family: I squeaked past the 3-hour challenge, but when the fetus doubled its weight in one month at ~ week 25, we knew we needed to start properly monitoring my blood sugar levels. I had was issued a blood sugar testing device, and had to test myself four times a day while recording all I consumed. The numbers were slightly higher than they should have been, but not atrociously so. The folks in charge wanted to me to meet with a dietitian to get better about my meals.

Then the PROM happened.

I guess that'll be Chapter Four.

The Nova Story: Chapter Two: Mum's The Word

[This post was started on the 15th of November last year; over two months later, I'll try to get this done between laundry loads, while the baby sleeps!!]

Chapter One was about finding out.

Kosh and I were in agreement that news of the pregnancy would NOT be publicised to anyone until we were well past the 1st trimester. We ended up breaking the news around Thanksgiving-time to immediate family ('live' with Kosh's side, and by mail to my Swiss & Malaysian sides), then via social media in January (Kosh via Facebook) and February (me, via Twitter and Facebook -- this was when "Nova" was chosen).

On the medical side of things, I'd neglected to get myself a local OB/Gyn despite having been in Springfield for over a year, so an immediate task was to identify someone, and make an appointment. Found someone, and was scheduled for an ultrasound on what turned out to be the fetus' 7th week. Couldn't see it via my belly so they had to stick a wand up my vajayjay, ugh. And Kosh wasn't there for that because he was running late *and* they actually took me in early. And I forgot the phone in the car. Gah! What a day! But hey, we walked away with baby's first picture:



I had started my Massage Therapy course about 2 months prior... since there are some contraindications surrounding massage and pregnancy, I had to break the news immediately to the main hands-on instructor. Coincidentally, the day I broke the news to her was the day she was teaching the "pregnancy massage" modality, LoL! Broke the news as necessary to some of the other instructors, and to my classmates at the end of the year. So yes, they knew before the official announcement in February :)

Next, I guess we'll cover some details of the pregnancy itself. The Cliffs Notes version: it was easy until we entered the 3rd trimester. Stay tuned!

Nova in November

Just when I think some sort of routine has been established, it gets thrown out the window :p I will slowly blog about the pregnancy and birth, but it's going to take a while.

In the meantime, I'm happy to report that Nova is over 6 months old, and we've just started subjecting him to solid food.
From the expression on his face I think he wasn't impressed, LoL!

Since the hubs is working on Thanksgiving this year, we are unable to show Nova off to his paternal relatives who have yet to meet him. Hopefully we'll have the occasion to do so before next Thanksgiving!!

For all those who celebrate, have a great Turkey Day! Happy Thanksgiving!!

The Nova Story: Chapter One: finding out

Back in October 2010 [HOLY CRAP THAT WAS A YEAR AGO ALREADY??!!], I thought I'd pulled a groin muscle or something, I was having these cramp-like twinges in the lower abdominal region. I also found myself cupping my boobs a lot, much to Kosh's amusement. Then said boobs started getting really sore.

It then occurred to me that it had been a while since my last period ... checked my calendar, counted forward, and whaddaya know, I was overdue for some bleedage.

The timing of this epiphany could have been better: Kosh was particularly stressed because he'd had a very long day and was having to pull an all-nighter for a presentation the next morning. I didn't want to add to/detract from his goings-on right then. So I kept my suspicion silent. After sending him to work in the early morning, I stopped by the local grocery store for some pregnancy tests.

Came home, peed in a cup and did the necessary.

And this is what greeted me.



If I'd had a proper smart phone, I'd have sent Kosh this pic. Instead, all I could do was send the following text message: "Ummmmm... guess what?"

He guessed right away :)

[Hmmmm, maybe we should have him guest post to say how he knew?]

Apples!

I'm supposed to be studying & reviewing for my Massage Therapy board exam... so it makes *total* sense that I'm putting together this apples-to-apples comparison of my big 'lil man instead. [click to embiggen the pix]

First, from a few weeks ago, we have what I thought was an apples-to-apples comparison, only to realise it might more properly be termed a Fuji to McIntosh comparison:The monkey swing is about the only constant: the comparison is still valid, but the geek in me wanted to reduce the 'noise' and produce what might be called a Gala to Gala comparison:
*grin!* The geek in me is satisfied, and I hope my few readers out there are mollified by these pix, making up for my continued blog absence.

I *will* be back!

Goodbye, boobjuice

It's been an uphill battle almost from the start.

I had no idea you could attempt to put newly-born babies to breast. Of course, when Nova was born, he was 6 weeks early, and went from my vajayjay into the hands of the neonatalists. Once they were done assessing him they asked if I wanted him on my chest - I hadn't even been sure if I'd be allowed to hold him at all. He was wrapped up, and I had a gown on.. I also had no idea what to do, so he just stayed on my chest. I remember remarking on how heavy he felt. So we missed out on initial skin-on-skin *and* immediate suckling. Did he had an oxygen mask on? I think so. I don't recall.

I don't remember *when* it was that we first tried getting him to nurse, but I do remember how he struggled a bit and the nurse immediately brandished a nipple shield and declared he needed it. That kinda set him and me up for expecting him to not nurse, y'know?

I also remember [another?] nurse being so aggressive about trying to get Nova to latch, by holding his head/neck and really roughly waggling his head up and down into my boob, and Kosh and I sat shell-shocked, totally unable to process what was going on.

I also remember that I didn't even start pumping until about 24hrs after Nova was born, because I had no idea what to do, and hey whaddaya know, I musta slipped through the cracks of the lactation consultants' system. They say the first few days are vital in establishing the necessary connections within the mammary tissue. Ummm, oops?

No one told us that we could get one month's free rental of a breast pump... not until Kosh mentioned to a NICU nurse that I was trying to pump but the manual pump was really a pain. Two days after I was discharged. Four days after Nova was born. We got the pump the next day.

Nova was in the NICU for 10 days. Most of the time, he underwent phototherapy, and there were strict instructions as to how long he could be taken off of the lights for feedings. Max 30mins, but at one point it was max 15mins. Fifteen minutes. To try to put a days-old 6-week-early baby to breast PLUS bottlefeed the required volume of food. To say that visits were stressful is putting it mildly.

Already early on, despite my milk having come in, I was not producing enough. When his feed volume was upped to 2 oz/feed, they already started supplementing with formula (without telling us! Sure, they 'warned' us that they would need to start supplementing with formula, but as far as I am concerned, I didn't pick up on the immediacy).

While Nova was in the NICU, I *was* able to pump on a regular basis. I think I pumped about 6-8 times a day (later I found out I should have been doing every TWO hours... but again, I musta slipped through the cracks... I figured I should pump at the same frequency that they were feeding him at the NICU: every 3 hours), and I actually got up to almost TWO ounces PER BOOB at my best.

Once he came home, though...

by the time he came home, I had convinced myself that he wasn't able to nurse properly, that it wasn't worth the effort to sit and try to get him to latch PLUS supplementing with a bottle (either pumped boobjuice or formula)... especially when he was also crying a lot, and I had no idea how to handle him, and I was doing this all totally solo.... .... .... and the little downtime I had in between feedings I chose to unwind on the computer rather than tie myself for another 20mins to the frigging breastpump

... so the pumping suffered ...

At six weeks I asked for and got belated help from a lactation consultant: the advice felt like a step backward because I was supposed to nurse nova every 2 hours then supplement with 2oz boobjuice/formula then pump for 15mins, while by that time Nova was on a 3(-ish) hour interval. Also, that entire routine would take almost 1.5hours, leaving me with about 30mins before the entire rigmarole was supposed to begin all over again.

But it did get my milk back up a little... and [after a LOT of coaxing] I could get Nova to latch on... [and later, he'd latch on without the nipple shield, yay!!]

... but once again ... the whole feeding thing required so many things upfront: I had to prepare the bottle first [either prep fresh formula, or warm up refrigerated formula or boobjuice], then try to nurse, then feed him the bottle, then try to burp him, then be able to leave him so I could clean up and pump... then clean up the pump equipment...

.. oh and did I mention that he gets upset really fast when he's not fed? And that he doesn't give much warning that he's hungry? I began skipping the nursing step and would just shove the bottle in his mouth (once I managed to get it prepared) rather than try to nurse him, then deal with more screaming while I got the bottle ready.

Does that even make sense to anyone? It made sense to me, anyway. Anything to make the screaming stop sooner, longer.

and between all this I was supposed to sleep? Eat? Do laundry? Stay sane?

... and I've not covered the fact that for the longest time, Nova was pure gremlin, turning into a screaming monster between midnight and 6am most nights. That I just could NOT burp him and therefore he'd spit up SO MUCH, EVERY TIME.

... there was so much going on, the last thing I wanted to do once I had any down time was to submit to getting my boobs pumped.

so I pumped less and less often each day

and so we then find us about 3.5months into Nova's time here, with boobs that produce barely 3mLs each when pumped...

... today was the final straw, though.... at the weekly moms' breastfeeding support group session where we get to do a before/after weighing, Nova spent a good 20mins on each boob, suckling away, and I could have sworn he took some good swallows like he usually does, so I was expecting we'd have a 10g gain, as usual ... but he had ZERO weight gain to show for it... zero ...

that's been popping in and out of my head all day ... zero gain ...

all is not lost, if I can commit to pumping the hell out of my boobs every two hours all over again.

I can't.

I have tried. I can't.

I've popped fenugreek; I've drunk nursing tea; I am even taking some mammary health pills made from cow boobs or something. Unfortunately I am also taking anti-histamines for my allergies. Depending who you believe, the anti-histamines dry me up, or don't. I'm guessing for me they cancel out whatever benefits I may be getting from these supplements.

There *is* a drug option. But Kosh is leery about going that route, citing concerns about side effects. I step back and look at myself, and agree that I don't want to mess with my body even more than I already have.

I've sought help/advice from a few different/alternative sources/approaches, and they all point to my liver.

What I will do then is work on cleansing my system, especially my liver. This will require losing weight, exercising more, eating better... but I will also be consulting an acupuncturist... and working on my own long-neglected meditation and foot-soaking...

... in the hopes that whatever obstacles to breastfeeding / breastmilk production that come from *me*, I will have tackled and cleared so that *if* Nova ever gets a little brother or sister, we'll have a more successful breastfeeding effort.

and if you read this all the way through, wow, thank you :) I'm not going back to reread it until after I hit publish, I know it's going to be a rather incoherent mishmash of thoughts :p My eyes are raw, but my heart is slightly less broken. Or, I guess I've managed to blunt the edges of the pieces a little bit.

I still intend on blogging about the whole hospital and birth experience; I just had to let this out first.

Ciao.

more Nova Naranek news

Yikes, I really do NOT have the frame of mind to be blogging nowadays... I'm having enough trouble getting the kid on a regular feeding schedule, and me on a pumping schedule. As a result, milk supply has totally dwindled since we brought the kid home from the NICU, resulting in stress, resulting in dwindling supplies, ... ... ugh. And I have a LOT of stuff to fill y'all in on... and even if my few readers aren't interested in the details, I do want to document my thoughts on the whole pre- ante- and post-natal experience. You have been warned!

But anyway... here's my Twitter birth announcement from a few weeks ago:

That's right, Nova's a boy!

^^ Here he is at about 2 weeks.

I'm totally biased, of course, but I think he's a handsome cutie pie :)

As threatened, more detailed reminiscing in future posts.

Until then, ciao!

Nova news: of PROMs and curveballs

I recently experienced a PROM, and no, I'm not talking about that American high school rite-of-passage, but Premature Rupture Of the Membranes... or, in layman's terms, my water broke!

Now, when you're really close to your due date, this breaking of water thing is good, signaling the start of labor and delivery.

But when you're more than two months away from said due date? Not so good.

Perhaps lil' Nova was impatient to get out and play with all the goodies he/she had collected from the baby shower we'd just had ... or ... since a few other expectant mothers also experienced the same thing on the same day, perhaps all the weird weather and variable barometric pressure impacted these membranes somewhat ... or it could just be due to the phase of the moon, who knows... there's no real way to tell why it happened, only that it did.

These past few days have been quite an experience. It is a huge relief to be past the critical first 48 hours though, and it looks like we will be settling into a waiting game / holding pattern. Nova is still a-pickling inside me, and the goal is to keep him/her there for as long as possible up till 34wks: if I've not gone into labor naturally by then, they'll induce me.

No I won't tell you how far along I am. ... suffice to say I'm marveling at this curveball life just threw at us: from having more than two months to prepare for Nova's arrival, we now might meet the tyke in just a few weeks' time.

And between now and then, I will be in hospital, under the watchful eye(s) of relevant medical professionals.
In the meantime, poor Kosh has to split himself between work, home/cat and me PLUS get the apartment ready for Nova.
In many ways, I have it easy ... for the moment, anyway!

So do send 'stay put' thoughts to Nova, k?

My next update here might not be until Nova appears.

Ciao!