Saturday, May 14, 2005

“use your numbskull”????

From www.m-w.com: numbskull / numskull
Pronunciation: 'n&m-"sk&l
Function: noun
Etymology: numb + skull
1 : a thick or muddled head
2 : a dull or stupid person : DUNCE

I think i’ve only ever READ that word before, I don’t think I’ve ever heard it used… and to have it used on me… no matter that it was used incorrectly, doesn’t matter numbskull ke, dumb head ke, whatever… ah yes, the person who so many times opens its mouth only to say the totally wrong thing strikes again.

And when I react all hurt, asking what was meant by numbskull, was it trying to make me angry, all the while I am struggling so hard not to let any tears fall as I feel them burning up my eyes, feeling my face and mouth twist in the effort to NOT let those bloody tears fall, so shocked am I by what it has said, what was its response?: I was just joking lah, and it actually seemed so surprised by my reaction. Probably saw a specter of its pseudo-mate in my place.

Yeah, right.

I HATE people who claim to be ‘just joking’ when they see their words have wounded others. Say lah sorry ke, I used the wrong word ke, it came out wrong ke… but when u say ‘just kidding’ it’s as if the blame lies on the person who’s hurt who “can’t take a joke”, when you know it wasn’t a joke in the first place!

Dinner tasted like ashes after that.

They say blood is thicker than water? I’ll take water anytime.

The only slightly positive thing from all this? I can bring myself to smile cos am reminded of this quote from Silence of the Lambs:

“It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again”

Yep. It. and it will stay that way.

I will be SO glad to be outta here.

I wonder why I am so concerned about not burning bridges when things like this happen.

...and some people wonder why i feel the way i feel... maybe this sheds some light?

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about two months later...

 ... hi again. This return to blogging is really not working out, is it? Actually, I am writing, three pages of mind vomit and affirmations ...