Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, so try another cup just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add table. Add a spoon of sugar or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl out, finish the Jose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
And on a related note... check out these "alcohol warning labels", including things like:
you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
think you can sing.
Hope everyone had a safe and fun weekend - here's wishing readers who celebrate it a Merry Christmas!!