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I didn't mean to, but ...

[very much related to this previous post]

So Mr Waiter Rant was on the receiving end of some "judgement" wrt his job recently.

Many years ago, I think I did the same thing - tho I really didn't mean to!!

While waiting for my SPM results [end 1989 & early 1990], I worked for a while at Toys R Us,,, and again one summer [1992?] just to keep me occupied. So I knew a few of the managers and all; one of them was this lady - strict yet friendly, and I suppose my "fave" of them all.

Fast forward to maybe 2002 - I and my then-bf and another couple were killing time in Subang Parade, walking past the TRU store there, when I saw a familiar face! So I walked up to her and:

    Me: Hi S___, remember me?

    S: Oh Hiii! Lynne right? How are you?

    Me: I'm doing good. Workin at [xxx] now, since 1995. You're still here though?

    Me [to myself] : omg, that sounds so bad! I saw her face change too, oh noooooo!

    S: Yes, still here...

    [awkward pause]

    Me & S: Well, great to see you again, blah blah blah, bye!

I gotta say, the "you're still here?" was a true expression of my surprise at her still being "just" a manager at the store, over 10 years after I last saw her. Of course, I have no idea about the pay / advancement prospects of these managers, so maybe she *had* moved up but it didn't seem so to an ignorant observer like me. I suppose the surprise in my voice didn't help matters: by the change in her face it looked like she thought I was judging her, and she had been found lacking. So then *i* was tongue-tied at the social trip-up, while *she* was probably a mixture of emotions herself - just hopefully nowhere near as angry as what was Ranted by the Waiter!

*i* knew I was not judging her, but I knew it certainly didn't come out that way...

So this incident is one of many over the years that have "trained" me to stop and think before I speak [or write]. I'm not always successful, that's for sure... but every phrase held back and re-thought prior to being uttered [or hitting "send"] is a step in the right direction.

Perhaps these help counter/balance the words that have instantaneously bubbled up in response to people/situations that trigger my triggers??

Comments

  1. hmm... i think she's cool about it... she has always been a cool person.. and i suppose she gets that from many of ex-TRU.. which many was workin there while waitin for SPM results.. dont think she remembered me tho..hehe

    ReplyDelete
  2. I used to look down on househusbands, and I have becoem one now. I would be mad if people talked bad about house husbands and housewives as they don't know the amount of work that we do.

    I can't stand it and am now desperately looking for a job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. you know some psychologist feel that words that came out initially are truth without any barrier of social expectations

    ReplyDelete
  4. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Lynne and Dr Kose.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was a swing manager at McDonald's for 3 years when I was in High School. I am now 22, and I went back to visit the woman who cleans the lobby - a definite, loving Grandma figure! - and I said to everyone else - you still work here?!?!

    I didn't feel too bad about it at the moment, but then later I thought, if working there keeps them out of trouble and pays the bills, why not? I am in no place to judge!

    ReplyDelete

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Dear legitimate commenters: all comments are welcome! My sincere apologies for making you go through the word verification hurdle, tho.

Dear spammers: please don't bother... I'm just gonna delete any spam that squeaks through word verification anyway, so why not save us both the trouble, eh?

Thanks!
*lynne*

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