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I didn't mean to, but ...

[very much related to this previous post]

So Mr Waiter Rant was on the receiving end of some "judgement" wrt his job recently.

Many years ago, I think I did the same thing - tho I really didn't mean to!!

While waiting for my SPM results [end 1989 & early 1990], I worked for a while at Toys R Us,,, and again one summer [1992?] just to keep me occupied. So I knew a few of the managers and all; one of them was this lady - strict yet friendly, and I suppose my "fave" of them all.

Fast forward to maybe 2002 - I and my then-bf and another couple were killing time in Subang Parade, walking past the TRU store there, when I saw a familiar face! So I walked up to her and:

    Me: Hi S___, remember me?

    S: Oh Hiii! Lynne right? How are you?

    Me: I'm doing good. Workin at [xxx] now, since 1995. You're still here though?

    Me [to myself] : omg, that sounds so bad! I saw her face change too, oh noooooo!

    S: Yes, still here...

    [awkward pause]

    Me & S: Well, great to see you again, blah blah blah, bye!

I gotta say, the "you're still here?" was a true expression of my surprise at her still being "just" a manager at the store, over 10 years after I last saw her. Of course, I have no idea about the pay / advancement prospects of these managers, so maybe she *had* moved up but it didn't seem so to an ignorant observer like me. I suppose the surprise in my voice didn't help matters: by the change in her face it looked like she thought I was judging her, and she had been found lacking. So then *i* was tongue-tied at the social trip-up, while *she* was probably a mixture of emotions herself - just hopefully nowhere near as angry as what was Ranted by the Waiter!

*i* knew I was not judging her, but I knew it certainly didn't come out that way...

So this incident is one of many over the years that have "trained" me to stop and think before I speak [or write]. I'm not always successful, that's for sure... but every phrase held back and re-thought prior to being uttered [or hitting "send"] is a step in the right direction.

Perhaps these help counter/balance the words that have instantaneously bubbled up in response to people/situations that trigger my triggers??


  1. hmm... i think she's cool about it... she has always been a cool person.. and i suppose she gets that from many of ex-TRU.. which many was workin there while waitin for SPM results.. dont think she remembered me tho..hehe

  2. I used to look down on househusbands, and I have becoem one now. I would be mad if people talked bad about house husbands and housewives as they don't know the amount of work that we do.

    I can't stand it and am now desperately looking for a job.

  3. you know some psychologist feel that words that came out initially are truth without any barrier of social expectations

  4. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Lynne and Dr Kose.

  5. I was a swing manager at McDonald's for 3 years when I was in High School. I am now 22, and I went back to visit the woman who cleans the lobby - a definite, loving Grandma figure! - and I said to everyone else - you still work here?!?!

    I didn't feel too bad about it at the moment, but then later I thought, if working there keeps them out of trouble and pays the bills, why not? I am in no place to judge!


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