14th Feb 1991: a total stranger walks up to me at the bus stop and wishes me a Happy Valentine's Day.
It was my first year in the U.S., taking a semester of general classes at the University of Oklahoma, and enjoying how different life was...
So, this total stranger - he was from Nigeria, I think.
I thank him, and wish him the same. We talked a bit, and would bump into each other at the South Oval bus stop every once in a while.
One day, I was hurrying to catch my bus, saw that it was filled to overflowing with people, and decided to just walk back to my apartment instead. Not a big deal, wasn't that far off anyway.
Then who hops off the bus but Mr Nigeria.
Who walks towards me, and asks in a loud voice "How come when you saw me on the bus you decided not to get on the bus?"
I was like "Huh? You were on the bus? I didn't even see you."
"No, don't lie, you saw me, then you decided not to get on the bus! Why? Are you avoiding me?"
I say to myself "Well, I am NOW!!"
I say to him my decision to walk was based on the fact that the bus had been too full, and that his presence, which I had NOT noticed anyway, had certainly NOT been a factor in that decision.
I dunno what his deal was... maybe he had waved at me from the bus or something, while unknown to him I usually walk in my own little world oblivious to anything else unless it comes up and hits me on the nose: therefore it's very possible I might have seemed to him to be looking straight at him while all *i* saw was a friggin bus!
Maybe also he'd had a bad, discriminatory, day? Cos I had the impression he was playing the race card or something... me, racist? me, the person who makes it a point not to judge people except by their actions? play th race card on me? get real, dude!
My memory ends there, but I probably just turned and walked away from the whole thing. And if I ever saw him again on campus, I bet I put on my stone-face and just looked through him. One doesn't make a scene accusing me of something so ridiculous and expect me to not blacklist you.
Ugh. pun not intended.
It was my first year in the U.S., taking a semester of general classes at the University of Oklahoma, and enjoying how different life was...
So, this total stranger - he was from Nigeria, I think.
I thank him, and wish him the same. We talked a bit, and would bump into each other at the South Oval bus stop every once in a while.
One day, I was hurrying to catch my bus, saw that it was filled to overflowing with people, and decided to just walk back to my apartment instead. Not a big deal, wasn't that far off anyway.
Then who hops off the bus but Mr Nigeria.
Who walks towards me, and asks in a loud voice "How come when you saw me on the bus you decided not to get on the bus?"
I was like "Huh? You were on the bus? I didn't even see you."
"No, don't lie, you saw me, then you decided not to get on the bus! Why? Are you avoiding me?"
I say to myself "Well, I am NOW!!"
I say to him my decision to walk was based on the fact that the bus had been too full, and that his presence, which I had NOT noticed anyway, had certainly NOT been a factor in that decision.
I dunno what his deal was... maybe he had waved at me from the bus or something, while unknown to him I usually walk in my own little world oblivious to anything else unless it comes up and hits me on the nose: therefore it's very possible I might have seemed to him to be looking straight at him while all *i* saw was a friggin bus!
Maybe also he'd had a bad, discriminatory, day? Cos I had the impression he was playing the race card or something... me, racist? me, the person who makes it a point not to judge people except by their actions? play th race card on me? get real, dude!
My memory ends there, but I probably just turned and walked away from the whole thing. And if I ever saw him again on campus, I bet I put on my stone-face and just looked through him. One doesn't make a scene accusing me of something so ridiculous and expect me to not blacklist you.
Ugh. pun not intended.
great experience. However, he is a friend the way he reacted. I will take him as a friend. The accusation is an expression of his friendship towards you.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with screwedup aka snglguy but agree with Maverick sm. He's not a weirdo. It probably has nothing to do with the race card.YOU brought up the race card issue.He didn't say " are you avoiding me because I'm black" did he??.He has probably had several hypocrites do that to him. He finally decided to ask you just to get things straight. Now, at least he knows that you really didn't see him.There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Most of u white folks do that anyway, you see people and pretend as if you didn't see them.I think you probably are the one with the problem at the end of the day. Why did you describe him as Mr Nigeria?? That's discriminatory and condescending. The fact that you decided to turn your face into a cold stone of reserve the next time you see him really points out your character. You're blatantly intolerant and rather childish if you ask me.
ReplyDeletehilynn you have been tagged :) you can go to screwedups blog site for the directions unless u know them already..write about 5 foods you loved as a child...easier just go to guys site..im a newbie in this tagging stuff
ReplyDeletehope u enjoy it
Burgwaki
You are all weirdos
ReplyDeletelol
ReplyDeletemy name is chelsea loser. Whats there to hide?? You need a life! LOL
anonymous
LOL, well glad to know *someone/two* is/are having fun while I'm floored by a bad cold :p
ReplyDeleteI suppose I'm not all that surprised this post generated a bit of debate, since many people read things into it that just weren't there!
Maverick somehow assumes that the person was a friend - nope, the extent of our interaction was that of nodding acquaintances. When we'd bump into each other, we'd smile & nod to each other. That's it.
One would also need to remember that I'm describing something that happened 14 years ago: what I draw on is the feelings and emotions that struck me, that I remember. I don't claim to have a picture-perfect total-recall memory, so things like the dialogue was there to paint what I remembered, but not to describe it in an absolute manner. Thus my talking about "the impression of race as an issue" cos that was what stayed with me: I would not put words into the guy's mouth, cos that would totally skew the story to one narrow perspective.
I found it unfortunate to see anonymous (later identified as Chelsea) jump in and totally imsinterpret what I'd said... for example, she said "at least he knows you really didn't see him" : errr honey, read it again: he refused to believe me when I said I hadn't seen him. So a lot of her subsequent comments were already kinda off... And it really didn't help that she was hiding behind the "anonymous" identity. Really dear, it subtracts a lot from your credibility.
I'll concede the Mr Nigeria point, however. The use of " Mr (descriptor)" is something I do often, inspired by Mr Hand & Mr Hanky from South Park. I didn't think I had another descriptor for the person I was describing, hence the use of Mr Nigeria, but upon re-reading, I see I could have used Mr Valentine too. My bad!
Many thanx to snglguy for trashing it out with anon/chelsea, LOL! High five!!
Now I'm off to sleep this cold off - y'all behave while I'm trying to get better, k? teeehee!