it's all about sex, baby

It's one of those kinda freaky coincidences: The Religious Policemean had a long post recently which mentioned misyar marriages, and that was the first I'd ever heard about such a thing.

It was horrifying to read one quote: “It’s a great solution — isn’t it? It costs less than having a girlfriend — doesn’t it?”

Here's wiki's take on what Misyar Marriages are all about. The summary: It's a marriage without the couple living together in the same house & the husband not being financially responsible for his wife.

Hmmmm... so why bother with this "marriage" then?

It's all about sex, baby!
What else???

.... And there I was, thinking wow i'm so glad i've never heard of this in Malaysia,,,, then ,,,, in today's papers ....

Nik Aziz: Misyar okay KOTA BARU: Kelantan Mentri Besar Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat has given his support to a proposal for misyar marriages to take place between Muslim men and women. These types of marriages, which Nik Abdul Aziz said were allowed in Islam, essentially permit husbands to not have the responsibility of providing for the materialistic needs of wives but just their sexual needs. ... The proposal was made ... [by an] Islamic Academic Studies lecturer ... who was reported to have said that such marriages could be practised in the country to overcome incidences of vice among Muslim women. He said such marriages could also reduce the growing number of unmarried and divorced women in the country. (Full story here)

Okay so first there was that fiasco where this Kelantanese dude said divorcées [as opposed to divorcés] were gatal (randy / horny - all poor translations), and all they wanted was sex, and that was why they ended up getting divorced.

Excuse me??? Apart from totally flawed logic, I'd like to point out that from what I've observed of you friggin [Malay Muslim] males, every Friday afternoon at the moqsues, where you go do your Friday prayers, what are the wares being sold in the vicinity? All sorts of supposed aphrodisiacs. And you guys FLOCK to those things! You guys are obsessed with sex! YOU, not us gurls!

Heck, from my interactions with so many of you, you look at marriage PRIMARILY as a way of having sex legally!

Excuse me while I make sure that whole life-partner companion concept still exists. [check!] yeah, just not in your world-view, eh? What YOU want out of marriage:

• Sex, tons of it, for your satisfation.
  
• Children, tons of them, as proof of your virility.

Okay okay okay so I'm totally overgeneralising, I admit.

BUT I stand by what I've observed and been told and have gone through interacting with so many of you, ESPECIALLY when I was stationed for 2 years over in Terengganu.

...

aaaaaaaaaand you wanna marry people off in order to curb "incidences of vice among Muslim women" through a mistress-like/prostitution-like arrangement?

...

lemmie highlight this little thing: "...such marriages could also reduce the growing number of unmarried and divorced women in the country."

My Concerns:

Anyone looking at the ROOT CAUSE of "rising number of unmarried & divorced women"??

Unmarried: more and more women are choosing careers over family? good for them!

Divorced: anyone looking at the reasons / grounds for divorce??? SO OFTEN, for the divorced people I know lah, it's because the [GATAL!!!] hubby was running around with other women.

Anyways.. so you want to "fix" this "single/divorced problem" by allowing a mistress-like/prostitution-like arrangement?

Is this "really" a "real" "marriage"???

Chances are, if you have sex, Allah will bless this union with pregnancy & kids, right?

Then you'll have this female who's pregnant, but has NO FINANCIAL SUPPORT from the "husband". So how? She's essentially a single mother, is she not, despite the "married" status?

I can't even to begin wrapping my mind around the implications of this.

I could go on, but i'm turning incoherent.

Ciao.