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you reap what you sow!

My patience sometimes is worn so thin by some people...

A friend of mine sent me a text message recently, bemoaning the fact that so many people she knew were getting a divorce, many of which were initiated once it was found out that someone was having an affair. And in many cases of the people she knew, the infidelity was on the wife's part.

Her bottomline: "better stay single than go thru divorce or unhappy marriage"

Hmmpph!

There are so many factors involved that can make or break a marriage ... reasons for getting married in the first place, compatibility of the couple, flexibility, communication skills, empathy, how they deal with problems (and let's face it: no marriage is perfect, there WILL be problems... but HOW they are solved, rather than WHAT the problems are about, is a good indicator of the dynamics, and long-term viability, of the relationship)....

Recognise that there many things that fall within your area of control, but you choose not to do something bacause it's too hard or unpleasant or whatever.... Many of us need to take responsibility for our own actions (or, in many cases that lead to problems, INaction!).

And at the same time... don't go agonising over things that are OUT of your area of control.

I'm not really getting my point across here... :p I agree 100% that I'd rather not go thru a messy divorce, or be stuck in an unhappy marriage.

Heck, I've used Meat Loaf's Paradise by the Dashboard Lights as a guide of how NOT to end up (girl & guy getting hot and heavy in car; reaching third base... girl pressures guy into saying he loves her, will never leave her, etc before she allows him "in"... and he was so horny and caught up in the moment he said yes... and later he's "waiting for the end of time to hurry up and arrive cos if I had to spend another moment with you I dont think that i could really survive; ... I'm waiting till the end of time so I can end my time with you"

But that does not mean one should just close off that marriage option, y'know? heck, a marriage, just like any relationship, requires an investment of your time, emotion (and yes, money too).

In the end, you reap what you sow.

I think too many people forget that.

a little aside:
Oh, and by the way, I was *so* tempted to reply to the txt msg with "whoohoo, women power! glad we are exercising our rights to having affairs too! Would hate to leave it to the just the males!"

I know, kinda bad, but still... think about it... usually a guy who has an affair is looked on as a stud but a woman who has an affair is labelled a slut. We need to get rid of this double standard!

Not that I am condoning affairs at all... I just feel society "accepts" infidelity in men much more than in women. So either make infidelity NOT okay for men, or allow women to 'enjoy' the same social acceptance of men, rather than suffer through social shunning....

... aaaaaaaanyway, my bottomline:

personally, I'd rather to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

so there.

Comments

  1. "Loved or Lost"....Loved is always a better option...(I know that's not exactly what you meant ;) but ALL of what you said is true..
    Anyway, take chances with people, but don't police the Love you receive. I say.."Better to leave some things left unsaid".. ;)

    ReplyDelete

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