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The Week After Christmas

It was the week after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales, there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I¹d never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband¹s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt,
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can¹t spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip,
Every last bit of good that I like must be banished
'Til all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or cornbread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

- Author Unknown


Heeheheee... okay so it doesn't exactly apply to me as I didn't *have* all those end-of-year parties to attend and goodies to eat... but I *do* have weight to lose... but anyway, I thought it would be a really cute verse to post early in the year :-)

Here's wishing all my readers a challenging yet fulfilling 2006. !

Comments

  1. Hahaha,I like this funny twist on "The Night before Christmas".Thanks :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was really funny..much better then " the nite b4 christmas".

    New Year HAIKU:
    End of year again,
    Stock take of accomplishments,
    Resolutions suck.

    Happy 2006

    ReplyDelete
  3. glad y'all liked it :-)

    headliner: thanx for stopping by!

    happy new year to all :-)

    ReplyDelete

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Dear legitimate commenters: all comments are welcome! My sincere apologies for making you go through the word verification hurdle, tho.

Dear spammers: please don't bother... I'm just gonna delete any spam that squeaks through word verification anyway, so why not save us both the trouble, eh?

Thanks!
*lynne*

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