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urban legend chain e-mails: Part Deux

A great follow-up to my recent verify urban legend chain e-mails post...
(and thanx Veya for sending this to me!)
Dear All,

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.

* Extra thanks to whoever sent me the Email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope. Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

*Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.

* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. (That's why i use a mobile now)

* I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a very hot day.

* I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me

* I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers

* I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

* Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an Email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes

* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)

* I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line Email program.

Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!

If you don't send this Email to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large owl with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:30 PM (EST) this evening. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

DO IT NOW OR ELSE!!!!!!!
Very well, put, eh?


(Added @ 3.35pm)On a related note: I wonder if this article prompted one of my ex-colleagues to send me a power point slide presentation about a 2053 impending crash into earth by Planet X / Nibiru... sigh... That a planet beyond Pluto exists has been confirmed last August(see HERE). Well before this confirmation, Alan F. Alford already went on and on about "Nibiru" both existing and returning to the detriment of Earth. He had compelling evidence and logic, and the book is worth a read. But keep in mind that he later did a total about-turn. I'm not in the mood to go hunting through conspiracy / doomsday forums or NASA sites for a possible collision of this planet with Earth... anyone wanna share relavant links about this, just go ahead and leave 'em in the comments, k? I'll look at them later :p

Comments

  1. Hahaha, I'd like to forward that email to some people so they'd stop pestering me with chain mails. :D

    As for the planetary collision, I highly doubt it...

    ReplyDelete
  2. snglguy: as far as I'm concerned, the "letter" belongs in the public domain, so go ahead and use if you want :-)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Dear legitimate commenters: all comments are welcome! My sincere apologies for making you go through the word verification hurdle, tho.

Dear spammers: please don't bother... I'm just gonna delete any spam that squeaks through word verification anyway, so why not save us both the trouble, eh?

Thanks!
*lynne*

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