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Proverbial Humour

Found these in a long-unused email inbox, thought I'd share it here:

New Proverbs
  1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
  2. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile way - and barefoot.
  3. Going to church doesn't make you a holy person any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
  4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  5. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  7. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.


Proverb completion

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs.  She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.
  1. As you shall make your bed, so shall you..........mess it up
  2. Better to be safe than....................punch a 5th grader
  3. Strike while the................................bug is close
  4. It's always darkest before.............daylight savings time
  5. You can lead a horse to water but.......................how?
  6. Don't bite the hand that.........................looks dirty
  7. A miss is as good as a...................................Mr.
  8. You can't teach an old dog new..........................math
  9. If you lie down with the dogs, you'll.....stink in the morning
  10. The pen is mightier than the............................pigs
  11. An idle mind is.........................the best way to relax
  12. Where there's smoke, there's.......................pollution
  13. Happy the bride who......................gets all the presents
  14. A penny saved is.....................................not much
  15. Two's company, three's..........................the musketeers
  16. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and....you have to blow your nose
  17. Children should be seen and not..........spanked or grounded
  18. When the blind leadeth the blind..........get out of the way
  19. Better late than.....................................pregnant

Have a good Monday!

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*lynne*

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